Whats the worst that could happen?

It's the usual Thursday morning, girlfriend calls wakes me up so I can go to school. I drain the weasel, check teeth, decide it looks clean enough not to brush, put on contacts, take off contacts, pour contact solution on contact, reinsert contacts, then finally go down to the car and pray it starts up. All very routine up until the point I got the dreaded elderly person crossing the intersection. I should have known that was a foreshadowing to a not so great day. So after four minutes, traffic gets moving again and eventually I arrive to my wonderful community college. By the time I find a parking spot, I've already missed 40% of the class. Now normally that's not such a big deal, but of course with my luck I just missed a pop quiz. (Problems progressively get worse). So I'm done with school and I go to my sexually confused automobile. I spot a green piece of paper on the windshield. I was hoping it was a letter from a secret admirer or something, but of course to my surprise it was a parking ticket. Before I was done scratching my head I realized the parking permit was missing (still not found btw). Now I could have afforded the 30 dollar ticket if i hadn't forgotten to cancel my xbox live subscription, but since that was the case my cursing rampage started. I went to chill with my girlfriend before work so I could get my mind off the crappy day and we ended up going to Panda Express from some grub (if only i had a time machine to go dropkick myself in the chin). I decided to get a little fancy and order some fried rice instead of the usual chow mein (top 10 dumbest choices made by myself). Everything was fine surprisingly. I went to work and was assigned to fix the fixture with all the socks (working retail...top 5 dumbest choices made by myself). Two hours into work the horrible things started. First I felt a little weaker then normal, then I started feeling a little dizzy, and finally my favorite feeling, NAUSEA. I was able to hold my cool till I got home. And that's when my teenage girl diet started. After the third time I had successfully barfed up all the chow mein. Now it was exactly 12:27a.m when I finished barfing the first time. And exactly one hour later I would barf all the other times. After the third barf I was starting to relase myself of body fluids. I threw up 4 more times and it was now 7:00a.m. It took me 7 times to throw up utill I realized maybe I should go to the hospital....you know to be on the safe side. So i went there and as my nurse took me to the room I made myself like home and threw up again (this is a total of 8). The nurse reasured me that the dark green barf was completly normal (didn't make me feel any better but it was nice of her). Five hours in the hospital and everyones waiting for me to pee in a cup. It took 3 liters of water pupmped in my blood for me to piss in a 4 inch cup (cant wait to see the bill). And now I am feeling slightly better, but im sure this will not last for too long. Thank you for reading my story and I hope you feel better knowing I have worse luck than you. Thanks for listening and let me no if you would want me to comment on any topics you guys/girls have. Thank you.